From

Location

Message

Date Posted

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

I am so envious! I just can't imagine a pumpkin weighing even 20 lbs. I can;t even get one pumpkin. I plant the seeds - the plants are big and healty - the blossoms are large - BUT NO FRUIT GROWS!! What am I doing wrong???
Someone must have the answer to this puzzling question. Please let me know - edm_lady@hotmail.com

8/31/2003 4:43:10 PM

Ctpumpkin@optonline.net

Can we get a mental picture of the sight? Amount sun/shade? Orgainic soil amendemants? When started? Inside or direct? Where did seeds come from? What kind? Any spray program?
That kind of stuff.
There has to be a reason.

Steve

8/31/2003 4:58:33 PM

Wroclaw, Poland (51 N, 17 E)

Are there female and male flowers? If yes mayby you should polinate the flowers.

8/31/2003 6:16:17 PM

sounds like the bees aren't doing their job.

8/31/2003 8:06:52 PM

Garden State Pumpkins

Lots of blooms right now would seem to say it's a younger plant...What was the germination date..The only blooms I have now are on new tertiary growth I allowed to keep some green on the plants...

8/31/2003 9:24:12 PM

Oz

fert balance?

8/31/2003 11:54:26 PM

Poplar Bluff, MO

Hey I had 2 of these plants in a patch with 24 other AG's. The 2 plants were huge (one nearly 3,000 sq. ft. and leaves about 4.5 ft. tall (I swear I have pictures). The other 24 have pumpkins all over the place, a couple of 300 pounders and I have culled 50 pumpkins or so. These 2 gay bastards just produced the first pumpkin to set this week (Sept 15, 2003). They look kind of green so they may be squash. But bottom line they are by far the best plants in a 25 plant patch but have produced only 1 pumpkin. Can pumpkins be gay?

9/18/2003 12:39:09 AM

Ozark Hills of Missouri

Dear Current River Pumpkin:

You obviously have not heard of the new trend in pumpkin growing: Being politically correct and giving space to pumkpins of all sexual persuasions. These two fine plants just want to be accepted, so please make them feel welcome. To do otherwise would be harmful to their mental state and might also lead to other defectors among your remaining plants. Yes, it is wise to accept all kinds of pumpkins, for they are one village and the village will help protect them! Long live Current River Gay Pumpkins!

9/21/2003 10:11:49 PM

Ozark Hills of Missouri

Dear Current River Pumpkin,

Have you solved the mystery of the non-heterosexual pumpkin plants? hey, if you are short on pumpkins, why not come up river towards Van Buren about 3.5 miles and enjoy our 2003 Fall Faggot Pumpkin Festival!

We will have (REAL) wieners to roast along with tofu and mixed greens salad! I'm telling you it is fabulous! At night ww will have our annual Naughty Neighbor Nipple Contest. In this we see which man can hang the msot weight from his pierced nipples. There is an overall winner as well as the most pounds hung from a single nipple.

From what I hear you may be in the running. See you big boy!

10/2/2003 3:15:56 PM

Poplar Bluff, MO

Hey, breaking news!! The fag pumpkins are not gay!!! Was in the patch last night and both have big pumpkins!! Although I'll have to say they look weird. The biggest is shaped like...... (well I can't say it here but it is part of a man's anatomy) and must weigh 50 pounds. It only is 25 days old. I'll keep you posted.

10/2/2003 11:30:28 PM

Ozark Hills of Missouri

Dear Current River Pumpkin:

To say I am a little jealous would be a vast understatement. To have a big, beautiful mass of "male organ" pumpkin is this boy's dream!

Question: do you think it would be possible to carve out and insert a vibration device, so that during our 2003 Fall Faggot Pumpkin Festival us boys may have a little fun?

You may e-mail me with yoru thoughts. Any pictures of this masculine mass would be very well received (no pun intended).

Until later :)

10/5/2003 4:32:00 PM